“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.”
Relationships need to be stronger to last long and let your dream of “we would grow older together” come true. But is there really a pre-pairing strategy of making that happen? Things of value won’t come right off the bat; rather, before they are analyzed and tested. Whether it’s buying a luxurious Ferrari or deciding to move to New York City, decisions can't always be left to fate or the cosmos. When choosing your partner, there are a few good ways of doing inventory to see how things might pan out before you actually plunge into the relationship. Here are seven best cues to keep in mind before choosing your partner.
The Purveyor of Good Jokes is not always good. Because that person on your campus is darn good at keeping those stressful hours bareable by cracking the most hysterical jokes doesn’t mean you should think about him seriously. Jeffrey Hall, Associate Professor of Communication Studies at the University of Kansas, looked into the details of about 39 studies carried out on more than 15,000 participants and she concluded that “It’s not about being a great comedian, but finding what’s funny in the every day and enjoying it together, whether that’s The Simpsons, or repeating funny things your kids say, or The New Yorker cartoons, or relishing in the absurdity of life. It is most important you do it together.”
To test the waters, you have to dig a little deeper. It takes two hands to make a clap; to love together and laugh together. You both have to be the reason of those long giggles.
If you find yourself compromising your identity, you're off to a bad start. Some people would argue that to avoid small arguments, you should strive to be more like your partner, take interest in their interests, etc. While that can help you dodge small problems, it can also create a bigger one. If you lose individuality and independence, those great moments would be expunged out of your life. Aside from valuing the opinions and ideas of someone you are choosing, you have to be good to yourself. That makes you rare and precious in life. If you think you would easily adapt to your partner’s traits, you may be wrong. You should keep in mind that while choosing such a person.
Don’t let fear seep into your choice. Do you get goosebumps when your friends say you would ruin your life by loving that person for the rest of your life? You may be afraid of the naysayers whom you think about that they are trying to help you. They are actually casting gloom. Listen to everyone, but decide what you think. What is in your best interest and also your partner's? You have to live a life that's lead by your own strength and courage.
Keep in mind your life goals, your relationships with others, and decide what clicks the best in your mind. If you make a decision out of fear, you may regret that later.
Take time to know the person. Before you proposal or accept a proposal, better take some time to think about it. Sometimes, decisions made in haste fail. Your mind is swamped with so many emotions that you miss on what is really inside. Your gut feeling is important, but so is making an informed decision. Fumbling your hands in the purse won’t always spoon those jingling keys out. Get to know who that person really is. Is there something they won’t let you know? It’s better to settle any matters that can lead to a problem too big to patch.
Choose someone who values you. There is no exact science for evaluating a person. In the world of ubiquitous technology, more people are prone to develop depression and anxiety. Heaping scorns on others is a practice that has, unfortunately, become very common. You could be in a good place with someone today, but the next day, they forget that you’re one who matters to them. Partners are those who take care of each other. Those grumpy and rageful moods shouldn’t take the best of your life and so to let it not happen, you have to pick the one who values you, and who understands you.
Think about choosing that person for a long time. When you have your eye on someone that you think is the best fit, think again, think thrice. Because looks are not always everything. Let time test those chosen priorities and subject them to a real understanding. The person you're considering may always be positive, for example, but is there positivity true, or just an act? It is only the ebb and flow of everyday events and harsh realities that help you decide whether to hold on or simply give up on that. I have seen people who try their best to stick to their choices without even thinking about it, just to be let down later and yet, still determined to stay. The predicaments of such choices become tenfold pathetic.
Before you daydream about your partner and imagine hearing the clumping of your baby running in mommy’s high heels, you have to make a decision that is only possible by executing your idea of picking the right one and at the right time.