The Types of Friends You Can't Keep Close

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The Types of Friends You Can't Keep Close

by Olessia Kantor
Spirituality Lifestyle Mind Wellness Relationships Judgmental Gossip Friends

I believe that every one of us has shared our deepest secrets and been vulnerable with a "trusted" friend, only to find that our confidence has been betrayed, and our deepest secrets, the moments of emotional insecurity have spread like wildfire and you were dismayed.

It hurts like hell but as with any mistake or failure, you learn that your friends won't always have the best intentions for you. This doesn't mean they are bad people. It just means they are human and have their own dramas to play out. Your friends should motivate and inspire you. Your circle should be well rounded and supportive. Keep it tight. Quality over quantity, always.

I'll share my observations. If any of your friends fit into these categories you may want to consider no longer sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with people like these:

1. The Gossiper:
This person spills the secrets of mutual friends to you. Remember that when he or she is with others, you will not be an exception. So, avoid any emotional topics with a person like this.
Your secrets are not safe!

2. Judgmental friends or Emotional Vampires:
People like this are never happy for you, no matter what. Your happiness offends them, they feel that your growth adds to their own stagnancy. Don't engage or take it personally.
Just stay away.

3. The Social Climber:
These are chameleons that are ready to throw you under the bus at any given moment if it makes them LOOK good.
Don't let people like this cross your boundaries. Get comfortable saying "NO" if they invite themselves in any unwanted way in your life.

4. The Bad Intender:
There are always people around who are consistently envious and jealous of what you have, comparing it to what they are lacking. For whatever reason, they will try to hurt you. They will always make place blame at your feet and guilt trip you. There is only one way to deal with these type of people: trust your instincts and once you recognize their destructive tendencies, keep your distance!

5. The Good Intender:
They tend to over promise support- that they will be there for you no matter what, but they under-deliver. Friends who carry around excess emotional baggage - just don't have space to be what they want to be for you. Give this person space and let them come to you when they are ready. Don't share anything emotionally valuable. You don't want to become a victim of unbalanced friendship.

6. The Competitor: 
Sometimes we have friends who live this mantra, “Anything you can do, I can do better.” If you befriend such a person that has a false self-confidence that anything you do they can beat, stay discreet about your achievements. You don't need to prove anything to anyone, especially if it comes on your own expense.

Stay mindful. Place your friends only as close to you as they deserve, not as close as you wish they could be. And now take a momentum reflect and honor those great friends that are always there for you, and you are for them.