Love Reimagined

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Love Reimagined

by OIessia Kantor
Relationships Sex Love

Why is it so hard nowadays to maintain stable relationships? Why do we split up so often, despite our struggle to love as much as we can? When did people become incapable of long-term commitments? Did we forget how to love?  Is it even worse than that? Did we forget what love is?

We are not ready. Not ready to compromise, to sacrifice, to love unconditionally. 

We are not ready to go all-in in our relationships. We want our relationships light. We are lazy. One little obstacle is all it takes for us to give up. We don’t allow our love to grow. In financial terms, we leave before our love can mature.

We chase challenges and kicks in life, not love.

We want those who can accompany us to movies, not the ones who can understand us even when we are silent. We are ready to spend time together, but not ready to create memories together. We don’t want boring lives. We don’t want a long-term partner, but the one that feels good here and now. When the passion is gone, we realize that we are not prepared for the routine of the everyday. We don’t believe in enjoying the predictability, we are chasing adventures.

We immerse ourselves in the mindless city dwelling.

We don’t allocate space for love. We don’t allocate patience to love. We live busy lives, pursuing material goals and love doesn’t fit in this scenario. Relationships are just another commodity.

We are looking for instant gratification in everything.

When we post something online, we immediately look for likes; when we choose career, we anticipate success and acknowledgement right away; when we choose a partner, we expect the love of our life. We want the maturity in the relationship right away, we want the emotional connection that takes time to cultivate – we want it all right away. We don’t have the time and patience. It's here and now, or never.

We prefer to spend one hour with a hundred people, than a day with one person. 
We are “social” beings, we believe in options. We meet people but don’t want to get to know them. We are greedy. We want to have it all. We easily enter into new relationships if we feel the pull, and leave just as easily, once the passion is gone or we find somebody better. We are not looking to discover the depths in a person. We want the person to be an ideal fit for us right away. We go out with many but rarely give anyone a real chance. We are disappointed in most people.

Technology brings us so close that it’s hard to breathe.

Our physical presence is being substituted by chats, social media and video calls. We don’t feel the necessity to spend the time together. We already have too much of each other in WhatsApp, Viber, Skype… All bases are covered.

We are the generation of nomads.

We can’t stay put for long. We shy away from responsibilities. We acquired the belief that we are not created for relationships. We don’t want to settle down. The thought itself is often dreaded. It’s hard for us to imagine to be with one person till the end of days. We leave. We look down at stability as at some sort of social evil. We like to view ourselves as different from others. We like to believe that we don’t fit the social norms.

We are the generation that calls itself sexually liberated.

We separate sex from love. We are the generation of sex and good byes. We have sex first, and then decide if we want to be with a person. Having sex is akin to having a drink. We do it not because we love the partner, but because we are aiming at instant gratification, though fleeting. Sex on the side is also not a taboo anymore. There are notions of one night stand, friends with benefits, open relationships that are firmly ingrained in our everyday.

We are practical generation that is governed by logic.

We forgot how to fall head over heels in love. We don’t rush to the middle of nowhere to meet a loved one. On the contrary, the distance is what kills the relationships. We are too mindful to love.

We are the generation that is afraid.

Afraid to love, get married, fail, be hurt, have our heart broken. We don’t let anyone in and we don’t try to get close to anyone. We are hiding behind the tall walls we erected and waiting for love to come, only to run away at the first sight of it. We don’t want to feel vulnerable. We don’t want to bare our soul to anyone.

We don’t appreciate relationships anymore.

We let go of the most wonderful people. We might be tech savvy and feel on the top of the world in most things we do but we are helpless in the game of love – the most important human emotion.

Dare to love, dare to trust, dare to read the book of life in full – you never know when you will be turning the last page.