Don't Be Afraid of Love

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“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.”

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Don't Be Afraid of Love

by Olessia Kantor
Relationships Commitment Love

Strong women don’t fall in love

Strong women don’t fall in love. They walk in love. Strong women enjoy love, flirt with it, carefully fulfill it, and walk away from it unhurt. Everyone knows that. Only weak women allow love to affect them. Strong women are untouched by it.

Strong women live their lives.

They can have romances, lovers, even boyfriends, but not love – never. Why? Because love makes an invalid out of you. Love prevents you from reaching your goals in life. Strong women don’t fall in love because love is an emotion, and a true woman doesn’t feel anything to the full capacity. Strong women know love just gets in the way, so she switches her feelings on and off as needed. A true woman is strong because she managed to become impartial.


Because I am. I am tired, and I think I am not the only one. I am tired of all the criticism we receive about whether or not we love. I am tired of hearing that to set emotions aside is to be strong, and to feel them deeply is to be weak. I am tired of being told what’s right and what’s wrong, what we must feel and say. We are damned when we are honest about our desires, and damned if we proclaim we have no desires. This is a no win game, and I propose we stop it.

Strength has nothing to do with impartiality. Strength has nothing to do with how often you fall in or out of love. Strength is the measure of honestly you allow in your life. It means that you are the only one who can decide in your life.

To be strong means to know what you want in life. It means fighting for the life you want, whether it’s your dream to become a president or be a stay at home mom. To be strong is to be able to define your life, to be able to ignore those who undermine your efforts, to live according to your beliefs.

I believe in love, and in my personal strength. These two notions go hand in hand for me, and that’s the way it should be. People who make fun of attachments, who prefer open relationships, who cling to independence, will never understand what immense strength it takes to love. It takes courage to show your weaknesses, to bet your heart and desires without any guarantees. My definition of strength is to be able to go all in because I know I will have the strength to see love through when it does work, and to recover when it doesn't.

One can be strong in despair. One can be scared and be strong. One can pick up the pieces of their own life and still be a rock. Everyone has a different definition of strength, and should live according to it.

The notion that strong women don’t fall in love is nonsense, nonsense we should stop subscribing to. Strong women understand themselves, and live their lives to the fullest – be it painful, triumphant or unbelievable. Strong women can be winners but they can also be losers. They fall and they get back up, as many times as it takes, unlike the weak ones who are planted on the bleachers, happy to spectate and cast judgment as life goes by.

One doesn’t need strength to critique others. One needs strength to stand their own ground, in order to be able to declare what you really want in life and work hard to get it, despite what others may think.

Strong women do fall in love, sometimes. Sometimes, they don’t. They build careers, or stay at home with kids. Strong women don’t fit one single mold, but they have one thing in common – they decide for themselves the way they want to live their lives.