Ask Yourself How. It Matters.

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Ask Yourself How. It Matters.

by Enigma Life
Professional Relationships How

Two of my girlfriends are passionate dog fanatics. I often hear them discussing their dogs’ achievements while watching YouTube videos showcasing various tricks dogs can be taught, like bringing the morning newspaper indoors, skateboarding, opening bottles, singing songs, and so on. As they watch, I often hear them proclaim: “My dog can’t do anything like that!” or “How can I teach my dog to do more than eat my shoes and lick himself?”

What intrigues me most is that they have a similar attitude towards relationships, careers, and their kids. Instead of asking how they can create the opportunity to bring in more money, they complain that they don't know why they aren't being paid more. When their kids don't help around the house, they ask why instead of trying to figure out how to get them interested in helping out.

Naturally, at some point or another in life, we all feel stuck. We are at one place and we'd like to be in another. Whether it's a new career, a different partner, or a warmer climate, we all fantasize about the possibilities of what life could be like if only things were different. For some, dreams are just fantasies that make real life that much bleaker. For others, dreams are what fuel them to create change.

So, what makes some of us more inclined to wallow, while others seem to take action with more motivation and ease? Those who take action are able to reframe the situation. My girlfriends always ask why instead of how.

Why keeps us stuck because it focuses on blame, which rarely changes anything.

How gives us the ability to look at the role we play in creating our situation. Ultimately, whatever happens in your life, inside and out, it is because you are generating it. It doesn't happen on its own. While there are exceptions, when you figure out how you are creating your life, you can figure out how to change it, because you will be able to see how you create your outcomes (not just intellectually, but with awareness). You will be able to choose actions that create the results you desire. You will find the means to change your behavior. You will let go of people, places and things that no longer align with what you truly want.

You co-create relations that you desire.
You co-create the job that makes you fulfilled.
You co-create a life you love.